quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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