Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
