We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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