I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
