I am midnight drunk by noon
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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