I just saw a hot homeless man
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
