I want you more than these girls want KFC
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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