I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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