remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
