Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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