I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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