no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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