We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
