We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
