think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
