is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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