I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
