We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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