remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Will exercising make me less horny?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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