you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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