We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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