Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
