Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
