Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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