I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
