I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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