then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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