I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
