It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Congratulations! We have a period
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
