Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
