found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
