It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
