Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
