if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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