it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I could make wine with my vomit
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
