Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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