He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
