Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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