this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
