I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
