just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
