I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
