the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
