Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
