In the future we'll all be gay
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
