arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
