I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
