i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
