Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
