My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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